Conversations With My Daughter

When I found out that I was having a girl, I was ecstatic! As soon as I left the ultrasound, I headed to Nordstrom and bought cute pink, sparkly outfits. I pictured in my head this sweet, gentle, soft spoken little girl. Well... she isn't exactly what I pictured when I was pregnant.

She is SOOOOO much better. She is sassy, sweet, so feisty, and I will never have to worry about her not sticking up for herself. She is the funniest little girl that I have ever met and the things that she says never fails to make me laugh (even if it is later because I am mad at first).

Here are a few things that she has said in the past week that have stood out among the rest.

1- As posted before, Harlow told me I smelled like a llama. So rude. Well, she has continued with her insults and we have turned it into a (very inappropriate) game. She tells me I smell like a pig, I tell her she smells like a horse, and we keep going until we run out of animals. Well, yesterday she won the game after her second turn when she told me I smelled like a donkey. I laughed so hard I couldn't even think of another one! She told me I smelled like an ass!!!!

2- She has been asking me for the past 3 weeks to straighten her hair. I usually say no and she will forget about it. I don't like doing it because not only is it super time consuming, it is also bad for her hair. Well, on Thursday I finally agreed to do it while DJ was at school and Dash was napping. When we were doing it, I let her pick a movie on Netflix. She usually chooses something horrible like 'Bratz Babies' or 'Lego Friends' but this time she picked 'Grease'! I was so excited! I love that movie!!! I will say, I never realized how completely inappropriate that movie is before I watched it with her. I am thinking that since it took me until I was 26 to notice, she should be fine. Of course, out of the entire movie... her favorite part is when Danny sees Sandy at the carnival and they start singing "You're the one that I want". Now she keeps walking around the house saying "Tell me about, stud". Way to go, Alexa. This leads into my next point.

3- She remembers everything and repeats it often. We went to go get Halloween costumes on Wednesday. While in the car, J. Cole's song 'Crooked Smile' came on. Out of allllllll of the phrases in that song, can you guess the one that she repeated for the rest of the day? This one "Let my brother out of jail" So the entire time we were in the Halloween store she kept randomly saying it. It was really embarrassing. Today she has been walking around saying "If you are going to call me Rosa, say it to my face." I have no freaking clue where she got that from.

Random Harlow

4- I like to go boxing. It is my favorite workout that I have ever done. It is so fun and a really great workout. Well, today when I got home, I walked into a mad house. Harlow and DJ were having full on wrestling matches and running around chasing each other. Well, I guess Harlow was done and DJ didn't get the memo. Harlow comes up to me telling on DJ saying "Mom! DJ... YOUR SON... hurt me in the belly." then she rolled her eyes and walked away. #wtf

5- Now here is what I should be embarrassed to admit, but it amuses me so much that I have to share it. She has the sassiest damn mouth ever. She is always huffing and puffing and when she is mad she gets the biggest little attitude. It is so funny coming from her sweet face and tiny little body. The other morning she was in quite the mood. It was too damn early and she was pissing me the freak off. DJ came out telling me that she threw a toy at him, so I told her to go to time out. She laughed and said no!!!! I was livid. I picked her up, carried her to the stairs and told her she could either go sit in time out or go back to bed. Do you want to know what she said to me? She looked me straight in the eyes and said "I can't hear you." Ummm.... I am sorry, what? I carried her to her room and then she finally started to cry.* She stayed in her room until I got her out and was much better for the rest of the day. On Sunday, for my mom's brunch she went and picked her own outfit... It was quite the combination. She chose floral capri leggings and a pink, white, and yellow shirt that says 'Have more fun'. Everyone kept asking her about her outfit and I guess she was sick of it. So when my mom said "Wow, Harlow, that is quite the outfit you picked out!" Harlow looked at her, said "Whatever" and walked away. Sometimes I just do not understand where she came from.

Too much spice.

6- The past 3 or so days, she keeps telling me how much she loves me. So sweet. "Mom, I love you so much, I want to stay with you forever." It is very nice change because on Tuesday she said, "Sometimes I love you mom, but sometimes I don't." When I acted very hurt and said "You don't love me???" she responded with "Well, sometimes I do." and left. Sassy. Fucking. Pants.

What can I say? I love that little girl!


*when punishing my children, I do not feel satisfied unless they cry. It might sound mean, but otherwise I just don't feel like they understand that I am actually mad at them.