Over Confident

April 28th

Derrick went out of town. I was kind of terrified. It was the first time I would have all 4 kids by myself for an extended period of time. We dropped him off before school and he comes back this afternoon, so not too long, but enough to make me extremely nervous.

Cute, but scary.

And you know how I did? I rocked it. Hard core.

Harlow and DJ had school, so it was just Dash, Ellis, and I. We went to Starbucks (duh), we played, we made this delicious peanut butter pumpkin bread, Dash took a nap at the same time as Ellis and I was able to write yesterday's blog. Then we were on time picking up DJ and Harlow from school and EARLY to karate (that didn't happen when I just had 3 kids). We came home, homework was done with zero complaining, dinner was made, an intense game of basketball was played, and bedtime wasn't too horrible.

Dash converted his apron to a super hero cape after we were done baking

It was freaking awesome. I was so proud of myself. I got Ellis to sleep and watched The Voice and 19 Kids and Counting thinking, "Why did you doubt yourself, Alexa? This is cake." I was even thinking it went so smoothly and pretty boring that I didn't know what I would write my next blog about.

Not so fast, Alexa Martin... Not so fast.

April 29th

It happened so fast and so suddenly that I am still a little confused thinking back on it. Here is some of the text message I sent Derrick after the storm had settled (excuse the typos, I was tired):

12:02. That is not an exaggeration. I have a hard time sleeping when Derrick is not here and I always leave our dog out. So when I heard movement and he started barking and growling, I almost peed my pants. It freaked me the hell out. I kept asking who it was, but Dash never said anything. I don't know why my kids are trying to send me to an early grave. So Dash finally comes around the corner and tells me that he threw up. Poor guy. I ask him where, he said his bed. Poor mom. 

You see, my boys share a room now that Ellis is here and they have bunk beds. Not a normal bunk bed where it is pretty open. No, no, no. That would be too easy. They have a fire house bed and the top is totally enclosed except the end where you climb in and a tiny little window on the side. Now, when we were buying the bed, being closed in is what sold me. My boys are insane and scared of nothing, so I didn't want multiple jump points on the bed. What didn't even cross my mind is that if they got sick, it was a serious process to get out of bed. Once DJ called me to his room saying his tummy hurt. By the time I was telling him to get out of bed it was too late I was *this close* to being covered in puke. I dodged it at the last second and sacrificed my carpet. This time it was IN HIS BED! So I had to climb up and was enclosed in the puke bed. It was awful. 

 See the window? The incident happened right there.

The boys their first night sharing a room

Thankfully DJ slept through this because it has been a fear of his since they started sharing a room. Every time Dash even hints about a tummy ache, DJ panics... "Maybe Dash should sleep on the floor mom. Maybe Dash should sleep in your room mom. I just don't want him to throw up on me.". Now I understand that it was a valid fear because Dash threw up right by the window that looks over DJ's bed. I was trying to find Dash's sleeping bag, but I couldn't so he ended up in a Cinderella sleeping bag just outside of his bathroom door just in case he got sick again. 

Poor guy.

Now of course, it would have been way too much to ask that Ellis sleep through this. As soon as I climbed into the bed to start cleaning, Ellis lost her mind. She was screaming at the top of her lungs. I swear she is the happiest, best baby in the world, but the only time she gets really pissed is when I can't get her right away (because I just started cleaning the chicken for dinner or vomit out of the bunk bed). So I finally get Dash squared away and get to her. Usually she calms down as soon as she is picked up, not this time. Nope. Not this time because she was soaked. Totally peed out of her diaper. Ughh! WHY?!?!? Why at 12:30 am???? Also, my boob pad shifted and I didn't realize it until the left side of my shirt was soaked #MomProblems.

So after I finally get her clean, changed, and back to sleep it is after 1. And I realized that I was way too confident and life had to slap some reality back into me. Don't worry, it will never happen again. Trust me... NEVER AGAIN! 

#MomLife

So sorry if you are a non-mom reader of this blog, but I have a 7 week old and basically all I think about is babies and kids all day, errrday. Speaking of, I never introduced our family's newest member! Here she is, Ellis Lane Martin.

My littlest love!

Before Ellis joined us, I had 3 days a week where all of my kids were in school and I got some alone time and grownup time. That has now disappeared and I am in a constant state of #momlife. I love it, but that doesn't mean that there aren't times when I laugh at the craziness. Being a mom you do things that you NEVER thought you would do... ever. Here are 5 examples that have happened to me lately.

1- Poop rules your life. Seriously. This is not something that moms make up or exaggerate at all. From the second they are born, it's all about poop. The tar poop (just like it sounds), how many poops, how often they poop, the color of their poop. You examine diapers, you check the consistency. Writing it, it sounds disgusting. Do it though? You don't even think twice. Welcome to motherhood.

2- Lack of sleep changes a persons priorities. The other night Ellis woke up for her 3am feeding. She finally was falling asleep about 45 minutes later when she decided to spit up over my shoulder and all on my sheets. It didn't wake her up though... in fact, it made her sleep better. I transferred her to her bassinet and contemplated changing the sheets, but instead decided that sleep was way more important. So the answer? I moved down my pillow so it covered the spit up and went back to sleep. Yup. That happened and I didn't regret it at all.

3- Caffeine. That's all that needs to be said. It is a necessity. I limit myself to 1 cup a day because I am nursing and I don't want it to keep Ellis awake, but it happens everyday. One day I wanted coffee and we were out of it at home. So instead of saying forget it, I strapped Ellis in the moby wrap and walked to Starbucks. A 3.5 mile walk for coffee. I looked freaking ridiculous. Where do you see a person walking down the street with a baby strapped on her chest, an iPhone in one hand, and a Starbucks cup in the other? Only in the suburbs. If I saw someone walking down the street looking like I did, I would have taken a picture and mocked them on the internet. I feel like it is only fair that I still do that.

And now you see why I always have bangs.

4- Self image loses it's importance. Showers are not as important as sleep (refer to number 2) so they do not happen daily. See the above picture. The sunglasses are hiding the bags. The glare from my forehead is blinding. My previous blog I posted a picture of myself in bed with no makeup on and my hair crazy. That's how I always look. Sometimes I put on tinted moisturizer. Go me. But... my baby is crazy adorable which totally balances things out (at least that's how it works in my mind). 

5- Boobs are no longer sexual... at all... ever again... in life. Breastfeeding is crazy. At the beginning it hurts so bad, then that stops. Then you become obsessive about your supply and are constantly drinking water and lactation smoothies. Then you lose all of your modesty and just whip out your boob like it's nothing. In my house, it is nothing. My kids went from "Eww mom, you're gross" the first time they saw, to hearing Ellis crying and telling me "Ellis needs some boob, mom.". Thanks guys. 

So there you go. This describes all of my life lately. Sleep, caffeine, poop, boobs, and maybe throw in a shower. Again, you will totally understand if you are a mom.... at least I hope so and I am not all alone on the crazy train. 

Hungry Mama

Everyone thinks that pregnancy makes food awesome. You crave things. You eat things. You have free pass doing it all. I get it. That is basically the truth, but there is also the side that people don't talk about. The point that pregnancy ruins everything you eat.

Once you are pregnant, food is no longer food. Food is the size of your baby. A grape, a lime, a squash, a mother effing watermelon!!! As if there aren't enough obnoxious things for us to think about. Every time we go to take a bite of a food, you unintentionally compare it to the little person growing inside of you. 

I will never drink out of a soda can or view a bagel the same way again

But that is not the worst part. No no no. The worst part comes postpartum. And I am living the dream right now. Labor and my awesome body have ruined breakfast forever. Muffins? Oh... you mean my belly over my jeans? Bagels? Look at the visual above... there were also some with a donut as well. Thanks. And pancakes? Just rude. Breastfeeding is hard and the effects are long lasting. OK?

Speaking of breastfeeding. I would say don't get me started, but I am already started. To all of the people who say "Don't worry about it. If you breastfeed the weight will just fall right off!"? Screw. You. That's right, I said it. I hate those people. I gained no more than 15 pounds with my last 3 pregnancies and I breastfed every time. When I went to my 6 week check up after Dash, I had only lost 4 pounds... DASH WEIGHED 7!!!!!! I also started taking walks, riding the spin bike (ouch), and modifying our diet at 3-4 weeks pp.

Breastfeeding isn't magic and not all women respond to it the same way. Has anyone else noticed that is always people like Giselle who tell you this? Like they aren't supermodels with crazy bodies to begin with. Sure, I'm sure that pregnancy synced our metabolism and I will look just like you soon. I have looked on pinterest everyday for weight loss tips while breastfeeding... I have tried them all (also, get sleep? For real? How?) water, exercise, eating more <--- I hate the calorie game, nothing has worked. My body hoards the weight and no matter what I do, I can't lose all of the pounds until I have completely weaned. So happy I got rid of my fat jeans when I was convinced that I never wanted to pregnant again, awesome decision. Glad I kept my Spanx though. 

So while my kids might suck away my energy, youth, and awesome rack, they like to leave my muffin top alone. 

It's not pretty, but it's real. 

6am after an hour wake up, 5 minutes before Harlow joins us.

Thanks kids.

My Favorite Lactation Smoothie

Smoothies are my favorite go to for breakfast and lunch. Easy to make and have on the go. This one has the added bonus of helping my milk supply as well. After lots of experimenting the last 7 weeks, this is my favorite one by far.

1 cup milk (almond milk would be really good too!)

1/4 cup old fashioned oatmeal

2-3 tbsp ground flaxseed

1 tbsp brewer's yeast

2 tbsp peanut butter

1 tbsp honey or agave nectar 

Favorite fruit... I usually go with a banana or handful of frozen strawberries

Ice

Blend together and enjoy!

Here is the link to the "booby bites" I have been making as well. The are phenomenal and in my mind (and blog), I refer to them as crack balls.