Baked With Love

As you all know, school is in session. DJ is in second grade and Harlow is in first grade. The school they go to is very strict about their no peanut policy. No peanut products are allowed in their school at all. Now let me just say, I have no problem with this policy. It is scary enough to send your child to school knowing that they are healthy, I can't imagine how terrifying it would be sending you child to school not knowing if somebody else's lunch could cause a major allergy attack. BUT, Harlow is kind of a pain in the ass, the only sandwich she will eat is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. DJ? He will eat whatever I send him, no big deal. 

#True

So at the beginning of the school year I started making baked goods to put in the girl's lunch box. Pumpkin bread, strawberry bread, zucchini bread, blueberry muffins, the list goes on and on. This way she has a decent lunch even without a crappy sandwich and I feel like a kinda awesome mom. I mean, I deserve extra mom points for homemade goodies in the lunch box. Right?

According to my kids? Wrong. 

Why are kids such assholes? Seriously. I let Harlow pick out what I make. We go on pinterest, I look up muffins or bread, she picks what she wants, and then I make it for her. I pack her lunch and send her on her way in her adorable, matching, personalized (overpriced) Pottery Barn backpack and lunchbox. Then she comes home from school with half or all of her treat still in it. My muffins were too moist (for all of you who hate that word, moist moist MOIST!!!!!!). Seriously???? How is that a complaint?

Matching backpack/lunchbox filled with goodies.

Ellis is just getting over a bug. She had a fever for 3 days and would not be put down. She was adorably cuddly, but made it very difficult to get anything done. When her fever broke at 9pm the other night, she was up until almost midnight feeling happy and ready to party. Why am I telling you this? Because we were out of baked goods and I needed to make Princess Harlow her requested chocolate chip pumpkin bread. I was up until 1:30 making it for her. 

 Drinking box wine out of a plastic cup waiting for the bread to bake. Note my awesome nursing bra... 

2 loaves of chocolate chip pumpkin bread fresh out of the oven at 1am.

Gratitude?

Nope. When I picked her up from school yesterday she informed me that "There weren't enough chocolate chips and it wasn't how I liked it." 

One day they will appreciate me, right? Like when they are grown ups and tired and hungry and spending $5 on dry baked goods. They will think, "Damn, I wish I was still 6 and my mom made me those awesome, moist baked goods that were infused with love." That's going to happen. Somebody PLEASE tell me that will happen.

If you, too, would like to test the gratitude levels of your child, here are some of my favorite recipes that I have made so far.

Strawberry cream cheese bread. This was awesome. I accidentally put in 8 ounces of cream cheese instead of 4 and had to double the recipe. 

Pumpkin chocolate chip bread. This is quick, easy, and makes 2 loafs. I feel like there is something missing and there is probably a better recipe, but it isn't bad at all. It's great in the morning with coffee and isn't too sweet. Harlow would add more chocolate. 

Blueberry Lemonade Muffins. Derrick and DJ do not like blueberries and they were too moist for Harlow, I however, love blueberries and non-dry muffins. These were amazing and I want to make them again just looking at them. But since I am the only one who eats them, I cannot make them again because then I will eat a dozen muffins by myself and that is an entirely different issue. 

First Grade Tribulations

This move has been hard on everyone, but in particularly difficult for Harlow. I never realized how shy she was until recently. In Colorado, she attended the same school, with the same kids since she was 2, here, she knows nobody (and unfortunately, she hasn't been invited to a kickass book club like I was.). I thought that once she was in school for a week, she would come home telling me about all of her new friends. She is smart, funny, sassy, basically everything that I look for in a friend. I know I am her mother, but it's still the truth. She is a badass.

I think she might just be selective, she knows the kids, she just isn't sure *she* wants to be friends yet.

So after a week of her reporting that she talked to kids but "they still aren't my friends" I started to get a little concerned. I am a mama bear. I want my kids happy and when I can't do anything about it, it gives me anxiety. But when she came home and tearfully told me that two little boys picked on her at lunch by chasing her and pinching her? I lost my fucking mind. I know that some people like to say this is how boys show little girls that they like them, but I will NEVER tell my daughter that someone shows her affection by treating her poorly. No, nope, not a chance. So emails were sent, teachers were talked to, and DJ (my sweet boy) promised to keep an eye on her at recess.

Fast forward to today. The boys have been leaving her alone, but today they were late to school (I didn't drop them off) and apparently they ran into one of the boys walking to class. DJ reported this to me in the car after I picked them up. The conversation went as followed.

DJ- We saw the BULLY at school today. 

Me- You did? What happened?

DJ- He tried to mess with Harlow. He said "Hey, Lady." and I said "Don't mess with my sister!!!!!"

Harlow- He said that to you.

DJ- No, he said 'lady' and I am not a girl.

Harlow- I know, he was making fun of you.

DJ- What? I thought he said it to you.

Harlow- Well, I am a woman.... so I am not really sure.

I could not stop laughing. I should probably have taken this more seriously, but I think they handled it pretty well. And I guess my 5 year old is now a woman.... sooooooo.... yeah.

Also, Harlow had her first soccer practice tonight and did great! She had so much fun and made friends! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Also, the fact that she enjoyed soccer is a huge win considering when I told her I signed her up she started crying hysterically, yelling "You didn't even ask me!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Drama starts young with these girls.

Girl Power!

Life Changes

Well, folks. We moved.

To Wyoming.

Yeah.

That is probably all that needs to be said, but if I am writing a blog about it, there is more that needs to be said.

When you move, there are obvious changes: new house, new school, new job. But there are other changes that people downplay. Changes that people think you will just get over... but sometimes these changes are a big deal people! Stop downplaying my issues!

Well, here is how my life has changed since moving to good old Wyoming, which I was informed is the most republican state in the nation, the home of Dick Cheney, and most importantly... where the Sister Wives are from. Seriously, those were the selling points that somebody told me.

1- New stores. There is no Target. Now if you know me, you know this is a big fucking deal. Target was MY sister wife. She listened to me. She was always there for me when I was bored. She fulfilled me on a level that is impossible for others, but that bitch also stole alllll my money. Now I have to choose between Walmart and Kmart. There is no win there. This walmart does have a Dairy Queen, though.... so there's always that I guess. #EatYoFeelings

One problem with walmart. Seriously, how is a food aisle RIGHT next to shoes? Couldn't they stick paper towels or something in between?

2- New Friends. Ok, full disclosure, I didn't have many friends in Colorado, but I did have some friends. And I also knew places to go to see said friends. It was just nice having the option. Here? I had no friends. Not until Derrick signed me up for a book club without asking me. I hate meeting new people, it gives me serious anxiety. I was NOT thrilled that my husband had me going to a book club with a group of strangers and I didn't have a chance to read the book. I must thank my husband now. My new friends are the shit. They are smart, fun, and all over 60. Not lying. All my friends here are retired or thinking about retirement. I went to bookclub with Ellis and they flocked to her crying "Oh we're all grandma's here! Hand her over!" Fantastic. I love them and I aspire to be them. One just got her doctorate. One introduced a curriculum at the high school to get kids emt certification. One has been a nutritionist since the 70's, is now fighting monsanto and has a son who is a priest in Rome.

#SquadGoals

3- Coffee. Now this might not make much sense, but I decided before we moved that I when we did I was not going to drink Starbucks. I was going to find a locally owned coffee place and start going there. Let me just say, mission accomplished. I love my new coffee shop. It isn't overpriced, the coffee isn't burned, the people are SOOOOO nice (actually just about everyone I have met has been extremely friendly), and they have a punch card. Starbucks who? In the words of my girl T. Swift, we are never, ever, ever getting back together. Except on road trips and vacations and every other time I am not in Wyoming.

4- We are living in a 900 sq ft apartment until our house is finished being built. All 6 of us and a german shepherd. Do you understand that? It is awful. But there is a liquor store down the street. The other day I walked there and bought box wine. I used to be a fancy drinker, now I use a tab to pour my wine. WHO AM I?!?! I shop at Walmart and drink box wine? I need an intervention.

The old me. 

The new me.

We have only been here for 2 months, but here's to hoping I don't end up looking like this by the time we leave and ending up on somebody's blog! Cheers!