Pregnancy 4.0

As you all know, I am pregnant again. This is the first time that we are not having a surprise baby so I had the pregnancy all planned out. The main point of this pregnancy was that I was going to continue working out throughout the entire 9 months. I went on walks while I was pregnant with Dash, but that is about the extent of my fitness routine while pregnant.

Leading up to this pregnancy, I have been a member of Title Boxing Club for over a year. I love it there. The classes are so much fun and it is a great workout. Also, it has done amazing things for my... backside. So I have this brilliant plan that I will keep up my boxing classes. Never miss a beat, I say. Pregnancy will not even faze me, I think. I will be this pregnant badass in class. Running around and killing it on the heavy bags with my pregnant belly. It will be awesome.

Wrong.

The first kink in my plan was that I forgot how freaking tired you are during the first trimester. I am older, I have 3 other little demon spawns who never stop, and this pregnancy has been way harder than the previous 3. So... when it came time to get up, get dressed, and go be a "pregnant badass", I usually decided on a nap. One time I went upstairs to get dressed, sat on the bed to put on my shoes, and woke up 2 hours later. I wish I was lying, but I am not. That happened.

The second problem with my plan is a serious problem, one that I have been really upset about for the last 3 weeks. So the time came in my pregnancy, that glorious time when you can use it to get out of exercises. Once you are out of the first trimester, they say that you should no longer do ab exercises where you lay on your back. So we go to do abs at the end of class and I ask the instructor if I can have some alternate exercises. She asks "Why? What's wrong? Why can't you? What wrong?" I reply, very happily "Nothing's wrong... just making a baby." To which she replies "Me too!". Come to find out with further discussion, she is 2 months behind me with her first child.

WHAT?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys. Worst. Thing. Ever. Like ever.

Are you guys understanding why this is so awful? If not, let me explain. She is pregnant with her first. I am pregnant with my fourth. This is significant because she will not show until she is like 5 months. I am 18 weeks and HUGE! You show so much sooner with every pregnancy. This means I am going to be 8 months and gigantic and she is going to be bouncing around all tiny at 6.

Therefore, I will not be looking like a pregnant badass. Instead, I will be looking like a struggling beached whale while my instructor looks like a pregnant badass! She totally stole my shine! Also, she is the peppy instructor... you know the one. The instructor that is always happy and super loud and never stops moving. I am going to sweaty and dragging my belly all around the bag and she is going to be like "Pregnancy is awesome!".

Bitch.

Ugh. Just rude. And super inconsiderate. She should have thought about me and my image before she conceived.

New Chapter.

So it has been a while since I posted and a few of you with apparently no exciting hobbies have been asking when I would start blogging again. I tell them to watch the Duggars and read romance novels like I do (have fun trying to figure out how I make that work), but they don't listen. So here I am! Lucky them!

Random Duggar pictures I have in my phone.

Well... a lot has happened since I last posted. Let's see...

1- DJ is in school. Like real school. Like homework and PTA and strict pick up and drop off times. DJ loves it. I hate it. So much pressure. All I know is that I just signed up to bring cupcakes to his fall party and the other moms are going down. #SpecialOrder #FancyCupcakes

2- Harlow is in Kindergarden! This has shown me what my life will be like for the next 12 years. On the first day of school Harlow got a not so hot report. On the second day of school I was informed by the teachers that they "Just can't believe how different DJ and Harlow are." Translation- DJ is so sweet and Harlow is a sass-master.

3- Dash update. Well... not much has changed with him. Instead of being a Power Ranger, he now tells me he is Spiderman. He tells me this when is climbing whatever he is climbing that he shouldn't be. He is still my party kid and I am still terrified of what is to come with him. #FutureFraternityPresident

 Spiderman

Very happy about a head injury because he looked "like a ninja".

4- Many of my friends have joined me in the mommy club. This might not sound like a big deal, but it is. They now understand why I will randomly hang up on them and that my hair is not in a bun everyday because I think it is cute, but because it is all I have time for. Also, buns disguise how long it has been since I last washed my hair. I believe they are the reason for the number 5...

This is me after I brushed my hair for the first time in a week. Ok... maybe 2.

5- I have done what I said was impossible. What I swore I would NEVER do again. That I was done, done, done with. I am pregnant. Again. Baby number 4 people! I am 18 weeks and still don't know what we are having. We will find out in March, because we decided to let it be a surprise. I tell people it is a surprise because this is our last baby and it will be a fun way to end it. BUT... if history tells me anything, I should stop saying that because who really knows if 5 will ever come along.

 The newest addition.

A picture of drink that is lacking the amazing ingredient of alcohol. 

Sparkling water with lime is NOT the same as a margarita. FYI.

I have a lot to say and I can't have wine or vodka to tamper it down. So look out, there is a lot to come!

Doppelgänger?

Tonight while I was making dinner, (*cough* heating up a frozen pizza *cough*) Dash came running out of the toy room yelling "Mama! Mama!!!!" And pointing at the back of a book. Why was he so excited you may ask? Oh... let me tell you. He found my doppelgänger! Let me introduce you to my long lost twin, Francie Alexander.

The resemblance is uncanny. 

          

Unfortunately, I was not able to get the original reaction on camera, but I did get these. 

Dash was sitting by me while writing this blog and was excited to see my picture on the computer.

Also, I have decided that I want to learn to speak Russian. Why? Because it sounds aggressive and I feel as though my kids will be more inclined to listen to me if I scold them in it. Rosetta Stone, here I come!

Keeping Up With the Trends

So as most of you already know, Derrick surprised me with a fanny pack on Monday. Everyone laughed... "Where did Derrick get that? OMG! That's HILARIOUS!" Har har har.

Well guess what people? Joke's on you.

I was looking at Go Fug Yourself today (a great blog that I highly recommend visiting) and they were showing pictures from some of the latest runway shows. Well, I love Chanel and decided to check out what their show looked like... and guess what I came across.

That's right, people. A fanny pack... on a runway.

Hate on haters.

Fresh to Death

Well, the day finally came. Dash got his first haircut... and I cried. He wouldn't let me comb his hair anymore so he was forming baby dreads and we just had to part with his wild hair.

Before.

When Derrick and I discussed his haircut, I told him I still wanted him to have some curls. "Don't cut it all off.... Don't have a repeat of DJ's first haircut." I said. Did he listen? Not. At. All. My baby has no more hair. Now all of a sudden he looks like a grown man and also DJ's twin.

After.

Well, Hello there Handsome.

DJ on the left when he was 2. 

Dash actually took the haircut pretty well. I mean, he obviously cried a little bit because he hates when people touch his head almost as much as he hates sitting still. The two things combined resulted in a pissed off Dash after a few minutes. I cried when Derrick cut the ponytail off and then again when I realized he was cutting off all of the curls. But it was Harlow who took it the worst and I have video evidence to prove it.

Now, I shouldn't take enjoyment in Harlow's sadness, but it was so funny! After Derrick was done cutting Dash's hair she said "He doesn't even look like Dash anymore!" and started to cry again. 

Then I offered them cake and everyone was happy. Oh children... how easy they move on. 

Mr. Romantic

Here is something that is a universal truth. Gifts rock.

The only thing better than a gift, is when it is a surprise, for no reason at all, gift. They are my favorite to receive and to give. The thing with these is, it is all about thought. When Derrick comes home with a large diet crack... I mean coke without me asking, I want to jump his bones. It makes me so happy. The small things people.

When I go to Target, there are times that I linger in the card section and read them all until I find the perfect one for Derrick. Does he appreciate it? Well, maybe not all the way. And maybe... just maybe, I get him one so that I have a reason to lurk around the greeting cards section instead of going home and cleaning. Here are a few examples of my random thoughtfulness.

This lovely plaque from Hobby Lobby hangs proudly on the wall in the Man Cave. 

 This book also came with a dramatic reading, very special.

That's right, a Saved By The Bell love card. 

So, as you can see, I am pretty much amazing at the art of surprise gifts. I was the hailing champion, until yesterday when Derrick got me the surprise gift to top ALL surprise gifts. 

Drumroll please.....

A Nike fanny pack, y'all, that's right. 

My kids, however, did not appreciate it. In fact, they hated it so much that DJ and Harlow both actually cried until I took it off. This gift has inspired me, though. I have decided to find a matching red visor and take a trip to Blackhawk... or a some kind of monument... or maybe to the mall to join my fanny pack brothers and sisters.

Thanks for the gift, Mr. Romantic and I think it is now safe to say that I am one lucky lady.