Lifestyles Of The Dumb & The Hungry

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with me???? I am starving and so in an attempt not to eat, I just drank coffee. Coffee at 9 at night. Genius, Alexa. Why didn't I just try to go to bed??? Oh, that's right, because I have to watch the episode of Scandal that I am recording and could watch tomorrow. Smart move. Real freaking smart.

Pinterest Fitness

With Derrick not being here, it has been pretty much impossible for me to go to the gym. I really want my pre-Dash body back, so I am working on ways to get around it. First, I had the spin bike moved from our basement to our bedroom. I don't like being in the basement when everyone is sleeping, I always feel like I hear doors opening, so I never went down there to workout. With the bike next to my bed, it taunts me while I lay there... "Hey lazy! Your pajamas look tight!" until I finally just do it.

Well, I am trying to add some extras to my workout routine and Pinterest is so helpful! Some workouts, ummm... yeah, definitely not. I did come across this great leg workout and did it last night, holy soreness!

I also found a detox that I am going to do. It is time that I get serious about this... also, it is time to get this kid 100% to sippy cups and off of me! It has been very hard for me to wean him and most of it is because of me. He is my baby and we might not have anymore, I don't want him to grow up! But... that is another subject completely, I will return to it soon :o)

Here is the link to my pinterest fitness page, feel free to look! There are great exercises and recipes!

We Be Jammin

Mom moment number 1,128. When someone asks what your favorite song is and this comes to mind:

Now you cannot tell me that is not the catchiest theme song ever! It is always stuck in my head! Hey, at least it isn't The Wonder Pets anymore. We are moving on up in the world!

Oh, You Fancy, Huh?

Well, Harlow dressed herself again. Way to accessorize, sister!

There are so many amazing things going on in this picture. Sunglasses inside... at night. Classy girls wear pearls. Long hair don't care. Fuzzy earmuffs with a Florida shirt. Them boots with the fur. And the best part, blinged out bandaids. What can I else can I say? Sassypants is a fashionista. Then the boys decided she couldn't have all the fun and joined in on the photo shoot. I was able to use my awesome photography skills to capture them all yet again.

Note DJ trying to compete with Harlow's posing skills. Also... Dash is wearing cowboy pajamas and put on DJ's rain boots that are at least 7 sizes too big. 

Goodness. Crazy kids, I tell you. I think they get it from their father ;o)

Jersey In The House!

My bestie, Diana, is visiting. O. M. G. so much fun! She only got here yesterday and already her trip has been epic. Margaritas, wine, and so many shots. Add in a little Sisqo karaoke and you really just can't get any better. 

Caramel bread pudding. Sooo good!

Karaoke pretty much guarantee a good time.

Today we are going to go and watch the Broncos v Ravens game. I am searching frantically to find some old Ravens stuff to wear out. Not because I really care who wins, but because I enjoy the trash talk. Plus, I got my Jersey girl near to keep me safe :o)

Happy Weekend everyone!

Diva... Maybe?

I am not 100% positive, but I have a feeling we are going to be in trouble in about 12 years with this one. My sassy little diva! I know I might be a bit biased, but she is the funniest little girl I have ever met! Today was ballet class so she has been in full blown performance mode all morning. I thought I would share some of her talents with you all. The first video is from this morning and the second video is from when my mom was babysitting. Don't ask where the music is. Work it, girl!

And a couple bonus pictures of Miss Harlow just being fabulous.

 Striking a pose with her photobombing brother.

Catching up on the latest InStyle

Go... Team?

So DJ, what team do you play for?

The Power Ranger Patriots? Hmmm.... very interesting. I am not positive, but I am pretty sure this is why they have uniforms at school. Also, because of this...

Harlow only wants to wear tutu skirts. In the first picture, I put her to sleep wearing pajamas, I went to get her and she was in this! She even sleeps in it! Take notice of the towel. She walks around with that all day saying that she is Rapunzel in Tangled. She asks me to braid it and put bows on it. Little weirdo. And Dash? He just likes to be naked! 

Good Morning.

Ok. So I didn't really put vodka in my coffee... but I was close. This morning was not the most pleasant one in the Martin house. First, why do children hate sleep? It is the only thing I am looking forward to the teen years for. 6:30 every morning? I am over it. I told my mom the other day that I got to sleep in. She asked me how late I slept and I said 8. Then I was depressed.

Wednesdays are school days... Thank you baby Jesus. At their school, the kids in pre-k and kindergarden have to wear uniforms Monday-Thursday. This is not anything new and DJ is not new to this. So why... WHY... did DJ have a massive fit about having to wear a uniform to school today? Full blown tears over a freaking shirt, "I HATE uniforms! Why do I have to wear the shirt with the chicken? All my friends are gonna laugh at me!". Seriously kid? Your friends are wearing the same shirt, they are not going to laugh. Another thing, you are 4. You are not supposed to care about what you wear. Then he got dressed and the dramatics continued.... "I am gonna tell everyone that you are so mean for making me wear this, mom." Sure you are. Then he goes in the toy room and comes back and tells me "See, MOM! All my toys just laughed at me because of this shirt." Dear, Lord. Where does he get this? I don't even care about what I wear this much. I told him that if he doesn't stop talking about the shirt, I was going to make him wear his uniform on Friday, too. He finally stopped talking about it.

After he stopped complaining about his shirt, I gave DJ and Harlow their toothbrushes and told them to brush their teeth. I then ran upstairs, put on leggings and found a hat (my mom uniform... hot), and came back down... 2 minutes at the most. I come back down and Harlow spilled an entire cup of water on her shirt. UGH! We were ready to walk out the door, we were going to be on time!!!! Why can I never be on time?!?! She had the cutest outfit on, then I had to find a new shirt, which I didn't have time to iron, btw, and run out of the house.

So in the end, DJ went into class giving me the stink eye and Harlow went in looking like a mess. Dammit.

New Years Eve Recap

I am sure everyone is dying to know how my New Years Eve went. Was I so hungover that I needed time to recover? Was it so glamorous that I didn't want to rub it in your face? Well yeah. Pretty much.

So how did it go? Let's start with this.... I got a fabulous makeover.

Harlow made me fancy.

After my makeover, I requested that the genius behind my new look, pose for some pictures with me.

Then, I took pictures with an eager young man.

Dash got a little jealous and wanted in on the action.

Finally, the kids were pooped and went to bed. After that, the fun really began. I did some gambling and chose my team to win the Superbowl.

What? You think this looks like boredom??? You obviously don't know what fun looks like!

And now... don't judge me. I know I am married, but I brought in the New Year enjoying a man's conversation.

So what that it was a scripted conversation and not directed at me. That Don Draper is a smooth talker. I have a new obsession with Mad Men and I will go into it later. I don't want to overwhelm you with the exciting details of my life. 

TGIM

Reason number 759 that I know I am a mom: I love Mondays. They are my favorite day of the week. DJ and Harlow go to school and play with their friends. Dash and I get some bonding time and I can clean the house without all 3 of them running right behind me and messing it up.

Derrick was home for the weekend (thank you Bye!), so my house is a disaster. We took down the Christmas decorations and it looks so plain. Also, I have not taken the kids clothes out of the dryer yet... I hate laundry. One thing that happens when Derrick is home, I get fat. He comes and we have a date night (sushi, beer, movie theater candy), then he has a friend over to watch the games (WingStop), and then... I am just lazy and we order (Olive Garden). So, now I have a messy house and I have to avoid mirrors. I don't know why I do this every time he comes home. I don't do this during the off season! I mean, come on Alexa! He can eat whatever he wants, his job is to workout!!!! He goes back and loses it in a day, me... not so much.

So today will be spent cleaning and not eating. Happy Monday?

Say Cheese!

I thought I would do a little entry on helping parents to take a picture of all of their children looking at the camera. It was really hard to figure out, but I think I finally have it mastered. Here are some of the best.

So... anybody want to hire me for family pictures? Also, Harlow will teach a class on the stink eye and Dash will teach one on the best time to run from the flash. Let me know, I have a feeling there will be quite a few openings. 

What The What?!?!

Seriously? What did I just say? Meal time is a very frustrating time in my house. Harlow is the slowest eater ever. She stands up and dances between every single bite. Oh my goodness, it is painful. Right now, she is eating a half of a grilled cheese sandwich. So far it had taken 45 minutes to eat half of a half of a sandwich. WHY??????

I think that it has driven me to the point of insanity. Do you know what I just said to her? I told her that if she eats all of her sandwich she will unlock the magic and we can do magical princess dancing together. What? What does that even mean? How did that even come into my mind? I have no idea. But, hopefully this sandwich will be finished soon.

One Of Those Days.

Well, I know that I missed a few days. I was just busy having a nervous breakdown. Why didn't anyone ever tell me how hard it would be to be a mom? Seriously. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I never knew it would be this hard. Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mother. It is the greatest thing that I have done or will do in my life. My kids mean more to me than anything, but I think that is why it is so hard.

I have always had a problem with wanting to be perfect. I put a lot of pressure on myself with all things and then when I feel like I am failing, I take it really hard. With my kids, I want everything to be perfect. I want them to grow up and look back on their childhood and want to change nothing. I want them think I am the best mom. I know it impossible to never make mistakes, I know that, but it doesn't take away the sting when I think I made one.

With my husband's job, we had to make the decision to either move with him or stay here. There were pros and cons to both. We moved last year and it was hard. So we decided to stay here this year. I thought that, even though it would be hard to be away from Derrick, it would be best for the kids. They are able to stay in their activities, stay in their school, and stay in their house. Well, though it is best for them, it has proven to be really hard for me. Having a 4, 3, and 1 year old is tiring. They fight, they make messes like it is their job, and they never sleep! Well, the other day, I yelled at them. They would not listen after their bath and I sent them to bed 30 minutes early. I don't think it really bothered them, but I felt like the worst mom in the entire world. I cried for hours. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and even though I was exhausted, I had too much on my mind to sleep.

It was a really hard day for me. I thought about it a lot. I think I really need to give myself a break. My kids are loved and they love me. They are kind, sweet, and caring. They will be fine. Hopefully the next time I feel a breakdown coming on (because I know there will be a next time), I will be able to think of these things and calm down. Fingers crossed.