Life Changes

Well, folks. We moved.

To Wyoming.

Yeah.

That is probably all that needs to be said, but if I am writing a blog about it, there is more that needs to be said.

When you move, there are obvious changes: new house, new school, new job. But there are other changes that people downplay. Changes that people think you will just get over... but sometimes these changes are a big deal people! Stop downplaying my issues!

Well, here is how my life has changed since moving to good old Wyoming, which I was informed is the most republican state in the nation, the home of Dick Cheney, and most importantly... where the Sister Wives are from. Seriously, those were the selling points that somebody told me.

1- New stores. There is no Target. Now if you know me, you know this is a big fucking deal. Target was MY sister wife. She listened to me. She was always there for me when I was bored. She fulfilled me on a level that is impossible for others, but that bitch also stole alllll my money. Now I have to choose between Walmart and Kmart. There is no win there. This walmart does have a Dairy Queen, though.... so there's always that I guess. #EatYoFeelings

One problem with walmart. Seriously, how is a food aisle RIGHT next to shoes? Couldn't they stick paper towels or something in between?

2- New Friends. Ok, full disclosure, I didn't have many friends in Colorado, but I did have some friends. And I also knew places to go to see said friends. It was just nice having the option. Here? I had no friends. Not until Derrick signed me up for a book club without asking me. I hate meeting new people, it gives me serious anxiety. I was NOT thrilled that my husband had me going to a book club with a group of strangers and I didn't have a chance to read the book. I must thank my husband now. My new friends are the shit. They are smart, fun, and all over 60. Not lying. All my friends here are retired or thinking about retirement. I went to bookclub with Ellis and they flocked to her crying "Oh we're all grandma's here! Hand her over!" Fantastic. I love them and I aspire to be them. One just got her doctorate. One introduced a curriculum at the high school to get kids emt certification. One has been a nutritionist since the 70's, is now fighting monsanto and has a son who is a priest in Rome.

#SquadGoals

3- Coffee. Now this might not make much sense, but I decided before we moved that I when we did I was not going to drink Starbucks. I was going to find a locally owned coffee place and start going there. Let me just say, mission accomplished. I love my new coffee shop. It isn't overpriced, the coffee isn't burned, the people are SOOOOO nice (actually just about everyone I have met has been extremely friendly), and they have a punch card. Starbucks who? In the words of my girl T. Swift, we are never, ever, ever getting back together. Except on road trips and vacations and every other time I am not in Wyoming.

4- We are living in a 900 sq ft apartment until our house is finished being built. All 6 of us and a german shepherd. Do you understand that? It is awful. But there is a liquor store down the street. The other day I walked there and bought box wine. I used to be a fancy drinker, now I use a tab to pour my wine. WHO AM I?!?! I shop at Walmart and drink box wine? I need an intervention.

The old me. 

The new me.

We have only been here for 2 months, but here's to hoping I don't end up looking like this by the time we leave and ending up on somebody's blog! Cheers!